Are you someone who is always working on a goal and waiting to be happy until after you have met that goal? Are you in an emotional holding pattern and telling yourself you will be happy in the future after your dreams come true?
If so, this is a good time to review your goals and discuss how to be happy now, even if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do. Goals can be difficult to attain and take a long period of time to achieve. If you are waiting to be happy until you reach your goal, you are putting today’s happiness on hold for a date in the future that may never occur. Many times the goals you want to complete won’t happen. There are many reasons why goals are not realized, and I wanted to give you an example of why putting off today’s happiness is negatively affecting your life. Most of us were taught to design our life using goals. We start out with big SMART goals (if you don’t know what a SMART goal is click here), and work backwards to achieve those goals with smaller bite-size activities to reach the larger goal. Once you complete a goal, you instantly create another benchmark to move towards because that is how you design an incredible life, right? Never settle and don’t stop reaching so that you can stretch beyond your current comfortability and rise to a new level of mastery. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T REACH YOUR GOAL The staggering and painful truth is that over time, there will inevitably be goals that you won’t be able to complete. Below is a common scenario that many people including yours truly have gone through: Your Big Amazing Goal: To lose 20 pounds over the next 2 months. You decide you want to take some weight off your frame and start going to the gym on a regular basis. You want to lose 20 pounds and you figure you will work out every other day and change your diet by cutting out the junk food. You weigh yourself on day one and by day 30 you are feeling really good about your new health regime. You have been eating well and exercising, but when you step on the scale you have only lost 8 pounds. You think to yourself “Ok, it’s not that bad, I still have time.” Over the next month, you increase your workouts and are still making healthy food choices, but when you step on the scale at the 60 day mark, you have only lost another 6 pounds. That’s a total of 14 pounds lost, yet you did not reach your goal of losing 20 pounds in 2 months. You have you worked so hard and are sick and tired so you say “Screw this! I have been working my tail off and I’m not making the kind of progress I should. I quit!” You go into a tailspin, stop working out and begin to eat junk food. Within one month you are right back to the weight you started at when you first began your program. Sound familiar? You didn’t reach your goal and instead of continuing on your journey, you quit and went back to your old habits of eating rich foods and not moving your body. You were disgusted with your weight at the beginning of your journey, you complained throughout the two month process and are more devastated at the end when you didn’t reach your goal. This is a prime example of losing out on the power of being happy in the now. THE EYE-OPENING KEY TO HAPPINESS The surprising truth is that you could have been happy during the entire process of losing the weight. When you lost those first 8 pounds, and all those days over the last two months, you should have been patting yourself on the back and been joyful because you DID make healthy changes. So what if you didn’t reach your goal? Just because you eat one bowl of ice cream, doesn’t mean you should stop exercising all together! The secret to happiness is being happy DURING THE ENTIRE JOURNEY, NOT AT THE END. Life is not a sprint my friend and if you want to attract success and abundance, you must raise your vibration so that the Universe can match it and begin to bring what you desire towards you. The more you put off your own happiness, the lower your vibration and the less chance you will have of getting what you want. SO HOW CAN I BE HAPPY NOW? Being happy is a conscious CHOICE and one you need to make every day if you want to start receiving all the blessings life has in store for you. Many people believe with every task and goal they have that there is a beginning and an end. What if all the good stuff, and I mean the really great stuff that you wouldn’t want to miss, was in the middle? For example, what if you wanted to drive from Connecticut to the Grand Canyon and the only thing you were focused on was getting to your end destination. You would miss out on all the beautiful states in between and lose out on the joys of travel before you got to the Grand Canyon. Does that make sense? Your power lies in you being happy NOW with what you have in your life and all that surrounds you. Below are three ways to start being happy now. Be Grateful Being Grateful is one of the most powerful and uplifting ways you can quickly raise your vibration to one of happiness. Look around you right now, what do you see? Do you have a place to live with a roof over your head that keeps you of the elements? Be grateful. Do you have a body that moves when you ask it too? Be grateful. Do you have a family that loves you? Be grateful. Sometimes being grateful for all the “little’ things, turns out to be the magic that mean the most in our lives. Look for ways in your everyday life where you can be grateful and put the intention into the Universe “I am grateful for all that I have in my life”. You can also be grateful for the gifts you have been given and whatever you are good at including writing, solving complex problems, hand eye coordination and so on. Consciously Make the Choice to be Happy with Your Words and Intentions This is a simple yet powerful exercise that I use every day and it really works. In the morning, say these words “Today is going to be a great day! I don’t know what is going to happen, but I am excited for what will unfold and I know it it’s going to be an awesome day!” Say this a few times and with conviction. Be warned, the first time you will probably hear a voice in your head saying “This is so stupid”. Ignore it and repeat the phrase. By the third or fourth time it will ring true in your mind, and when you say it with conviction and a strong belief, it will become absolutely true and you will have a great day. Remember, I said this is a CONSCIOUS CHOICE - and to learn how to be happy now you will need to create new habits that will result in better options for your life. It may take a little bit of effort in the beginning, but it’s worth it for you to have more happiness flowing into your life. The Power is truly in Your Hands YOU have the power to define your destiny, all you need to do is believe it. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner thoughts and mindset. If you believe you are happy, you will be. If you believe you are successful, you are. It doesn’t matter if you are a Senior Vice President, a Secretary or work as a Professional Trainer. No matter where you are in life and no matter what your vocation is, you can choose to be happy. Throughout the day you will have many opportunities to veer off from your charted course of deciding to be happy. There will be irritations you can either let fall to the wayside or let them become toxic and frustrate you. These decisions are up to you, NO ONE ELSE gets to decide how you react to outside circumstance except you. This means you have total and complete authority over your life and YOU get to decide if you will be happy or sad, content or disgusted, on course or off course. Fortunately, you can always course correct at any given time. My point is, don’t let the small stuff upset you. It’s small stuff for a reason, the decision is yours to make. If you are grateful every day, choose to say out loud that “This will be a great day” and let small stuff slide off your shoulders, you can then hold the intention that your happiness is important. No one can take that from you unless you give your power away, which I don’t suggest. Being happy now, in this present moment will boost your confidence, increase your vibration, and attract more of the good stuff that you want to flow into your life. The choice is yours. How do you want to feel today?
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Self-acceptance is critical to your growth as a person. As women, we are groomed from the time we are small to take care of others first. We are taught to live out loud and be authentic, but don’t stand out and be too loud. We are encouraged to reach for the stars, but we then learn that women and men are in fact, not anywhere near equal. In our teenage years, we begin to see comparisons between other women both in person and in beauty magazines. We realize there is a certain standard that must be met to be beautiful and attractive to others. Any blemish or look that is not the “standard”, may leave us with a feeling of being inferior or less than when in fact, it is our differences that should be celebrated. They are what make us unique after all. All of this comparison between others, the competition to try to get a respectable well-paying job and still putting ourselves last and others first can take a toll on our bodies, souls and minds. Let me be clear, it is important to take care of our families because that is a wonderful gift to give to those that you love, except it is harmful when you receive less than you should because you constantly put yourself last. This behavior will cause scars, anguish, pain and questions around inequality but more than that, the by-product of all of the above is women not accepting of themselves, their talents and what they have to offer the world. YOUR POWER IS YOURS ALONE How can we take back our power and how did we lose it in the first place? Power is described in the dictionary as “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events”. In my opinion, the key piece the dictionary version is missing is “as well as your own life”. You have power over your own thoughts, emotions, physicality, and decision making process etc. Power comes from within and you govern and control your power however, many people go through a slow process of giving away their power and don’t realize how much they have lost, until it’s gone. It doesn’t happen overnight, it usually happens over time with small, inconsequential habits or thoughts that leave less of you and more them. The first step in taking back your power is knowing you lost it and that’s not such a bad thing. After all, there really is nowhere to go but up. FOUR STEPS TO TAKE BACK YOUR POWER Below are four steps to take back your authentic power. Step #1 – Establish the areas in your life where you have given your power away or you feel completely powerless. It’s important that you realize there may be certain areas of your life where you have given up your power and you must identify where this has occurred. This exercise may seem painful, but you are now in the process of recovery and you cannot afford to ignore this. It’s a crucial first step and with this self-realization you will see your life differently. Here is how you can begin: Get out a piece of paper and draw four quadrants. Label each quadrant: Social, Personal, Family, and Professional. In each quadrant write down all the specific areas where you feel you have either lost control or you feel completely powerless. For example: In the Work quadrant you might say “I feel like I have no control over where I work, what I do or what working conditions I must endure for a paycheck”. Step #2 – Re-establish your authority over your life by proclaiming your intent to the Universe. This is the time you need to begin to speak your power into existence. You can start by simply saying out loud “I take authority and power over my life.” “I am in complete control of my life and my decisions will now be for the good of me.” Step #3- You need to call your power to you. It may sound odd at first, but give it a go before you discount it. You will want to take power over your past, present and future and to do this you need to say this, out loud “I take full authority and power over my past, my present and my future self. I now ask the highest version of my future self for guidance and I have complete control and power over this (my) life.” Every time I do this, I get goose bumps. Step #4 – Take action in the areas you where you feel powerless. Once you have identified an area where you have given up your power, now you are ready to take action to assert your authority again. These can be small or large steps, but I would begin with small ones until you have the courage to do larger tasks. The remedy for this is simple, you start completing activities that will EMPOWER you. Basically you do the opposite of what you have been doing up until now.
Remember, this is a process and just as you didn’t give your power away in one day, it will take more than one day to reclaim all that is yours. By completing these steps, you have identified where you feel powerless, claimed authority over your life and called your power to you. The last step is the most important one because you are taking back the power that you either lost or gave away to others. Note: Once you begin to take back the reins of your life, you may hear a small voice inside of you saying: “That is selfish! Who do you think you are putting yourself first and others last”? It may also feel very strange to think about you first instead of last, but hang in there. You are NOT selfish, this is your life and if you want to live a powerful, impactful life – YOU need to be in charge. There is no one else that is going to ride this horse for you. It’s all up to you. You can read this blog and continue on as you were – unhappy, feeling stifled, sad and even blaming others for areas in your life that you can’t control. Or – you can take the reins and take back your power. Please be patient and kind with yourself. Give yourself pep talks because they help you and also because you deserve them. You can have the EXACT life you want to live, you just have to take action to reclaim what has truly been yours all along. |
AuthorMy name is Julie Saillant and I am an Equestrian who uses my intuitive Empathic insight to help others embrace their own gifts so they can find their life purpose. Archives
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