Are you a perfectionist? Do you work on projects but never release them because they aren’t good enough for the world to see? Are you the type of person who won’t let anyone else do something because “no one can do it the way you can?” The definition of perfectionism is a “refusal to accept any standard short of perfection”. This definition leaves the word “perfection” wide open to your interpretation of what perfection is. What does perfection look like to you? If you start projects and then shelve them because you feel they aren’t good enough, you may be a perfectionist. If you never publish or show your work to others, you may a perfectionist. If you sacrifice your sleep, time with a loved one and time away from your favorite hobbies to get something done, you may be a perfectionist. If you are EXTREMELY hard on yourself and set incredibly high standards for you and what you work on, you may be a perfectionist. WHAT LIFE LOOKS LIKE FOR THE PERFECTIONIST Perfectionists are frequently high achievers, but they pay a heavy price for their success. If you are a perfectionist, life looks like an endless report card that reflects where you are seriously lacking in skills, looks, emotions, and whatever else you want to throw into the “this is what it takes to make me happy” bin. Perfectionism is abstract at best and has been shown it can lead to:
Perfectionists look like they have it together on the outside, when on the inside they feel like things are falling apart. For women especially, the media and TV coverage of how the “perfect” woman needs to look starts when girls are young. The social media world of selfies adds to the heightened mindset that we all need to look a certain way or we aren’t “perfect”. Many perfectionists put themselves and their needs last which leads to stress and fatigue. A SIMPLE MINDSET SHIFT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE Most perfectionists have an “all or nothing” mindset. When it comes to goals, they are either all in or out completely with no in between. This type of mindset comes from a terrible fear of failure and that love will be bestowed ONLY if they are perfect. If you believe that you can only be happy or have good things in your life if you do XYZ perfectly, you are withholding love from yourself which stems from a negative mindset and puts you behind the 8 ball from the very beginning. This type of low self-worth and turning the faucet spout to the “off position” until you have done something perfectly will always make you unhappy. Behavior like this usually stems from an incident that happened in your childhood where good behavior wasn’t recognized. Where only EXCELLENT not great behavior was acceptable. TRUE PERFECTIONISM IS IMPOSSIBLE. Let me say that again – TRUE PERFECTIONISM IS IMPOSSIBLE. If you are trying to reach “perfection”, you will never achieve your goal because you’ll never be good enough and no one is perfect. So how do we go from reaching for pie in the sky perfection to being good enough so you’ll be happy with your results? ADOPT THIS GAMECHANGING MINDSET Learn to enjoy the journey, not the end game. I know that may sound easy and too good to be true, but it’s the truth. When you begin to enjoy where you are and not focus on being here but not there (with there being the end goal), you give yourself the time and space to actually fully focus on your goal. You also open yourself up to new opportunities that the Universe can provide for your journey. These opportunities come in many forms, some of which you would have never been afforded a glimpse of, if you had closed yourself off to only one potential outcome. Here are some tips on how you can enjoy the journey:
Hint: Being grateful is the fastest way to raise your vibration quickly and puts the Universe on notice that you are ready for the best it has to offer. 3. Set a positive intention. When you set your intention, you cue up the Universe that this is what you intend to happen. You can set intentions for anything as big as the outcome you would like of an endeavor or as small as a quick phone call you are about to make. Start to get into a routine of setting positive intentions whenever you can. If you don’t know where to start, simply ask that what you are doing will be for the highest good of all concerned. I found an old video that my dad had produced where he discussed his achievements of which there were many. He won numerous awards, too many to count and was always ahead of the curve when it came to his craft which was video and public speaking. He said “I have never been happy with anything I put out in the world, but that’s the fun of it right? The fun of it is the journey, not what you end up with so enjoy the ride.” When you learn to take the pressure off of you and that no one is perfect, you can begin to understand that you and what you do are enough.
6 Comments
3/29/2018 07:31:51 am
I am a recovering perfectionist which also carries anxiety disorder. I feel today's society is full of perfect and anxiety, get it done quick and forget about the journey! GREAT THINGS TAKE TIME! And we have time, 24/7/365 it is what we do with it.
Reply
3/29/2018 08:36:04 am
These are lessons I need to learn! Sometimes it's better to get it done than to not get it done because you expect it to be a certain way!
Reply
3/29/2018 03:58:54 pm
Thank you for reminding me to chill and know that all will be done in its right and perfect time. regardless for what my ego might be rallying on about!! I love the action items: focus, gratitude and positive intentions. These 3 are going on a sticky and placed where I can see them daily. Blessings and appreciation, 💕 Xo, Evelyn, PathofPresence.com 🦋
Reply
3/30/2018 04:12:38 pm
oh my goodness that graphic at the beginning of your post resonated with me so much!!! I've only realised in the last couple of years how much of a perfectionist I have been and it can lead to a whole host of problems ... I'm trying really really hard to be less of one nowadays but I constantly have to check myself because it's actually very habitual!
Reply
4/2/2018 04:12:15 am
The picture at the top is so me. Everything I do has always been either perfect or awful. The middle ground of things being ok has been so hard to accept. It's a constant work in progress and where I am today is better than a few years ago.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMy name is Julie Saillant and I am an Equestrian who uses my intuitive Empathic insight to help others embrace their own gifts so they can find their life purpose. Archives
April 2018
Categories
All
|