Imagine yourself at a dinner party and you are introduced to your friend’s new husband for the first time. The conversation might go something like this: “Hey Josh, I’m Julie” I say. “Hi Julie, I’m Josh, Laurie’s husband” he says with a big smile. “Welcome, I’m glad you made it” I respond. To which he replies “Thanks for having us. So what do you do?” This universal question of “What do you do?” is your chance to let others know what you do professionally. In many cases, it can also be directly tied to your self-worth as a human, your pride and how good of a person you are. In our culture, we are brought up to self-identify who we are with the profession we chose to work in, literally. Asking someone “What they do” is a common question to break the ice with those you don’t know. If we consider this “small talk”, then why do so many of us place such a high importance on what we do? Whether you know it or not, most people have very specific thoughts on the good and bad of different professions. For instance, some would say that a Secretary is an entry level job, that “anyone” can do and someone in this type of work can easily be replaced. In other words, it’s a lower level job. Others may say that working as a Marketing Director offers more creative work, pays well and will give you the opportunity to grow into a potential position at a senior level. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR OWN You and I inherited these thoughts from our parents, the culture we were brought up in and even close friends who interjected their thoughts about jobs, into our psyche. Many times these are unconscious thoughts that will shape your choices and can hold you back from reaching your true potential. There is a perceived notion of what a “good” job is and what a “bad” or “in between” job is. This becomes glaringly obvious when you decide to change professions or vocations. THOUGHTS BECOME YOUR PERSONAL STORY Let’s say you have experience as an Administrative Assistant and you want to move into a role that is more creative with more responsibility, like a Marketing Manager. You take classes in Marketing and once finished, you begin to apply for jobs. You encounter resistance when an employer looks at your resume and says “You have a background as a Secretary and you have no experience in Marketing. Do you think you are smart enough to do this job?” (This has been a real question that interviewers have asked me). On the surface this seems like a big deal, but there is something much larger at play here. What story have you been telling yourself internally about what you do from 9-5? If you loved being an Assistant your story might sound like this: “I have been an Assistant for several years and I love what I do. I know I have a better skill set than what this job requires, and I also know the money stinks, but this is what I have done for a long time and I’m not sure that I’m qualified to do something else.” Remember, this story has been playing in her subconscious for years and your brain is wired to control you and “help” keep you safe. The quote above is saying that she knows she could earn more money, she is smart and should be in a more advanced position, but she is comfortable and it doesn’t feel safe or likely to do something else. YOUR STORY IS YOUR LIFE The upshot of these types of thoughts are that you put yourself into a small box and you can’t get out of it. Even more troublesome, is the culture in companies that says your capacity for growth is limited. This culture states that the job you have now, is all your capable of and you may never flourish due to the story running in the hiring manager’s head which is “She has always been an Admin, she is not smart enough or talented enough to do anything else”. Which leads to rejection and you staying right where you are – unhappy, underpaid and not using your talents. What stories do you tell yourself about what you do? How linked are those stories to your self-worth? If others who have the ability to promote you, see you as being limited in any way, it will add fuel to the already negative story you may be telling yourself which is you are stuck. YOUR SELF WORTH IS DIRECTLY TIED TO YOUR JOB Let’s go back to the simple question “What do you do?” If you love what you do and have confidence in your abilities to do your job well, you will feel proud and happy discussing what you do for a living regardless of what your vocation is. If you hate your job, and don’t feel like you have a way to move up and make more money, you will feel sad, depressed, trapped and it will begin to manifest negatively in your life. Remember, you are NOT your job. There are only a few cases where what you do is truly what you are. For example, Navy Seals. Being a Seal is not just a job to them, in fact it isn’t a job at all. They ARE a Navy Seal, that’s who they are down to their bones, 24X7 every day of the week. Versus someone who works as a Recruiter. Being a Recruiter is the job they do, but they stop being a Recruiter and go back to being Jane or Paul, after work is done for the day. Do you see the difference? The difference between the Navy Seal and Jane is how much you either love or hate your job and if it uses your gifts allowing you to become more of who you really are. If it is working for you, great. If not, it may be time to make a change, but how? YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB If you are tired of small, old limiting stories, it’s time to make a change. Below are 3 steps you can take to change your life. Find The Lesson – Look at the stories that were painful and find the lesson. Each story that didn’t work out well has an important lesson you need to find. Let Go – Let go of your old story and send it with back with love out into the Universe. Knowing that you now learned your lesson (and especially if you don’t want to repeat it), let the story go with love. When you surrender your story, you allow the Universe to write an even better one for you. Ask For Help – Ask the Universe, God or Source, and your Guides in the spiritual realm to help you with your next steps. Find a quiet place and meditate on what lights you up. If you have no idea where to start, ask yourself these questions: What are you good at? What comes easily to you? What do you love to do that even if there was no pay involved, you would still do consistently? What have people always said you were are good at? Writing, Photography, Interviewing other people? What is always easy for you? LET GO OF THE STORY Once you begin to move towards your goals, that is usually when the chatter of stories begins in your head. If you want to move towards a senior level position, you may hear something like this: “You are not ready for this, you are not talented or smart enough for this position”. Don’t let low self-worth or negative unconscious chatter win. You are capable, smart and you can pivot to accomplish anything you want too with your life. Let go of the old stories of not being good enough and realize that you are indeed enough. You always have been, you just need to believe it.
9 Comments
3/8/2018 06:31:08 am
I have a curious mind with being a psychologist, and i have such a love for people. I want to know about them, what they like, who they are. People fasinate me ;)
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3/8/2018 07:06:06 am
Julie, you are a blessing! Thank You for this inspiring post to remind us that there is way more within us than what the eyes can see. You have a beautiful way of breaking down patterned thinking and old behavior to provide choice, and release for what no longer serves. Thank You for your magnificence! 💕 xo, Evelyn, PathofPresence 🦋
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3/8/2018 10:44:47 am
Such a great post! So many points to think about. I realized a few years back that I had no idea why I was living the life I was. I literally followed my parents blueprint and it left my life such a mess! It's so important to take control of our own thoughts and lives!
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3/8/2018 10:58:00 am
I love people and I am very curious, and yes we are not our jobs, but implementing our passion is a game changer!
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Interestingly, my husband's family considers it rude to ask "what do you do?" Ask about interests, how you know people, travel plans... If you wish to share what you "do" professionally organically, than that's appropriate. Before meeting him, I never thought twice about it!
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3/11/2018 01:07:52 pm
When you say you’re not your job I completely agree. I love what I do and I’m super passionate about it but when I do it at work I’m not going to live there like my boss expects. Work is not going to take over my life even if I love what I do
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3/13/2018 06:29:43 pm
Great post and so so true. It's so sad when people stay in jobs they hate for years staying miserable as they don't feel they can move on to something better for them. We only have one life and deserve to send it being happy. Being a children's entertainer is something that I love beyond words and could talk about it all day. I know I am fortunate to be in that position and I'm so grateful for it.
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AuthorMy name is Julie Saillant and I am an Equestrian who uses my intuitive Empathic insight to help others embrace their own gifts so they can find their life purpose. Archives
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