If you are an entrepreneur or an aspiring business owner (aka you started your hustle but are still figuring out how to make a profit and go from hobby to paid professional), you will have days where things won’t work.
By “things”, I mean you will get emotionally upset by all that is on your plate and the frustrations that come from “things” not happening fast enough. For me, I go down a road where I feel frustrated and come to the instant conclusion that things will NEVER go my way. I get discouraged and feel as though nothing is happening for me and it starts a cycle where I repel happiness and abundance. The key to getting out of this kind of emotional roller coaster is two-fold: Self-awareness and taking action to move yourself out of your lack mentality and into a more abundant mindset. Everything that is in your world is the fruit of your mind. Choosing to remain positive and in a high vibration is KEY to you making the type of large contribution you want in the world. What is your world view? What do you see in the first picture? Most people will concentrate on the rain that is coming down onto their windshield. It’s dreary, cold and grey and your focus may be on how to stay dry and warm. The key thing to remember is that you can’t see everything you need to see in this picture. The one thing you may not be looking at… is up. Let me show you what happens when you look up. What do you see in second picture? Would you concentrate on the lightness or the dark? When I saw this sky, the clouds were dispersing and the scene was going from dark to light, the sun was coming out. It was a 50/50 sky, half dark and half-light. Because the sun was coming out and it was raining, I was able to witness the rare miracle that is a rainbow. This beautiful rainbow was huge and came out in all of its glory, so much so that I just had to stop and take a picture. Remember when I said that I was feeling frustrated and unhappy by my lack of progress in an area of my life? I asked God and the Angels for a sign and this was the sign that I got. It completely reaffirmed my faith and taught me two things that may help you. Here are the two takeaways: TAKEAWAY #1 - NOTICE WHERE YOU FOCUS You may not be focusing your attention on the right scenario or information. You could be looking down at the ground, or what is right in front of your nose, when the real gold happens when you look up. You could be looking at what your competitors are doing, comparing yourself to other influencers Instagram’s and even following those who advertise false and ridiculous results in short time frames. That is what I would call “Looking at the ground”. If you are doing that, you are not focusing your attention in the right place which should be all about YOUR next move. What does your target market need right now that only you can provide? What gaps are in your demographic that you can fill? TAKEAWAY #2 – YOU NEED TO SEE THE TOTAL PICTURE SO THAT YOUR ACTIONS MATCH WHAT YOU SEE You may be looking up, yet you still may only be seeing a snippet of what you truly need to see. More importantly, you are TAKING ACTION on what you are seeing, which could mean your actions won’t have the desired outcome because you haven’t seen the right or whole picture. In other words, you may see the sun and the clouds but not notice the rainbow which is where your eyes should be. You’re missing the gold (the rainbow), and choosing to see clouds or sun. For you to leverage what you do and offer to others, you need to widen your view of the world. Ask yourself “Where is the gold in what I’m seeing”? Your job is to find opportune areas where you can affect other’s lives in the most positive way with your superpowers. YOUR 3 PRO TIPS How can you get to a place where you know the actions you are taking will have the positive effect you want them to have? TIP #1 - Look outside of your normal comfort zone. Way outside. Whatever your normal view is, expand on it ten times. This includes your view of your business, your gifts, your target market, your merchandising, your networking efforts etc. EXPAND ON IT X 10. This will give you very different information and will also allow you to grow because your gifts will also need to expand accordingly. Move to that 30,000 foot view instead of being on the ground floor. Next level baby! TIP #2 – FIND A MENTOR No one can build a successful business on their own. If you want to ramp up quickly, you need to find a mentor or a group of like-minded people who are a few steps ahead of you. You can do this by networking at local events as well as following in the footsteps of whoever is killing it in your field. Start reaching out to local entrepreneurs and offer them your help. Give them your time, your thoughts, your ideas and start building relationships with them. This will get you out of your comfort zone, offer you new ideas, meet new people and give you the chance to expand and grow. TIP #3 – PLAY THE LONG GAME You’ve heard the expression “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”, remember this when things aren’t going your way. We all have bad days. If today doesn’t go well, don’t jump ahead and think tomorrow will too. It’s normal to have a bad day once in a while, don’t throw in the towel and all the hard work you’ve done when success could be right around the corner. Remember, most of the time, success is just one step away from where you are right now. Use these tips to get motivated and excited about expanding your horizons. The bigger you dream, the better you’ll be. Expand your horizons, find a mentor or team of like-minded individuals you can bounce ideas off of and play the long game. Most importantly – ENJOY THE JOURNEY. Have fun – remember this is your life. Make it the way you want it to be.:)
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Are you a perfectionist? Do you work on projects but never release them because they aren’t good enough for the world to see? Are you the type of person who won’t let anyone else do something because “no one can do it the way you can?” The definition of perfectionism is a “refusal to accept any standard short of perfection”. This definition leaves the word “perfection” wide open to your interpretation of what perfection is. What does perfection look like to you? If you start projects and then shelve them because you feel they aren’t good enough, you may be a perfectionist. If you never publish or show your work to others, you may a perfectionist. If you sacrifice your sleep, time with a loved one and time away from your favorite hobbies to get something done, you may be a perfectionist. If you are EXTREMELY hard on yourself and set incredibly high standards for you and what you work on, you may be a perfectionist. WHAT LIFE LOOKS LIKE FOR THE PERFECTIONIST Perfectionists are frequently high achievers, but they pay a heavy price for their success. If you are a perfectionist, life looks like an endless report card that reflects where you are seriously lacking in skills, looks, emotions, and whatever else you want to throw into the “this is what it takes to make me happy” bin. Perfectionism is abstract at best and has been shown it can lead to:
Perfectionists look like they have it together on the outside, when on the inside they feel like things are falling apart. For women especially, the media and TV coverage of how the “perfect” woman needs to look starts when girls are young. The social media world of selfies adds to the heightened mindset that we all need to look a certain way or we aren’t “perfect”. Many perfectionists put themselves and their needs last which leads to stress and fatigue. A SIMPLE MINDSET SHIFT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE Most perfectionists have an “all or nothing” mindset. When it comes to goals, they are either all in or out completely with no in between. This type of mindset comes from a terrible fear of failure and that love will be bestowed ONLY if they are perfect. If you believe that you can only be happy or have good things in your life if you do XYZ perfectly, you are withholding love from yourself which stems from a negative mindset and puts you behind the 8 ball from the very beginning. This type of low self-worth and turning the faucet spout to the “off position” until you have done something perfectly will always make you unhappy. Behavior like this usually stems from an incident that happened in your childhood where good behavior wasn’t recognized. Where only EXCELLENT not great behavior was acceptable. TRUE PERFECTIONISM IS IMPOSSIBLE. Let me say that again – TRUE PERFECTIONISM IS IMPOSSIBLE. If you are trying to reach “perfection”, you will never achieve your goal because you’ll never be good enough and no one is perfect. So how do we go from reaching for pie in the sky perfection to being good enough so you’ll be happy with your results? ADOPT THIS GAMECHANGING MINDSET Learn to enjoy the journey, not the end game. I know that may sound easy and too good to be true, but it’s the truth. When you begin to enjoy where you are and not focus on being here but not there (with there being the end goal), you give yourself the time and space to actually fully focus on your goal. You also open yourself up to new opportunities that the Universe can provide for your journey. These opportunities come in many forms, some of which you would have never been afforded a glimpse of, if you had closed yourself off to only one potential outcome. Here are some tips on how you can enjoy the journey:
Hint: Being grateful is the fastest way to raise your vibration quickly and puts the Universe on notice that you are ready for the best it has to offer. 3. Set a positive intention. When you set your intention, you cue up the Universe that this is what you intend to happen. You can set intentions for anything as big as the outcome you would like of an endeavor or as small as a quick phone call you are about to make. Start to get into a routine of setting positive intentions whenever you can. If you don’t know where to start, simply ask that what you are doing will be for the highest good of all concerned. I found an old video that my dad had produced where he discussed his achievements of which there were many. He won numerous awards, too many to count and was always ahead of the curve when it came to his craft which was video and public speaking. He said “I have never been happy with anything I put out in the world, but that’s the fun of it right? The fun of it is the journey, not what you end up with so enjoy the ride.” When you learn to take the pressure off of you and that no one is perfect, you can begin to understand that you and what you do are enough. Here is the harsh truth – you created your life.
No one else but you is responsible for what your life looks like today. I know that may sound incomprehensible to some but trust me, it’s the truth. The totality of your current life comes down to a series of decisions that you make every day. Big or small, repeating or new, these decisions transform and shape your world. The irony that is lost on so many of us, is that we are both the cancer and the cure. We alone hold the keys to our happiness and anything outside of that truth is fallacy. HOW DID I GET HERE? Recently, I was whining to my husband about how many of my prior jobs were not what I wanted when he said something that stopped me in my tracks. He said “Here is the brutal truth that no one tells you - You chose those jobs! You went for a job that involved too much travel – you said you liked to travel. You took a job that promised a lot of money and that turned out to be a lie, and you still chose the job!” My mouth dropped open and… I had nothing to say. I realized he was right. Whether you are unhappy in your relationship, your career, what your body looks like, where you live or anything else in your life, you choose it. No one forced you to live in a cold climate that you hate and grumble about every day. No one forced you to stay in a job that sucks, that doesn’t allow you to use your talents and gifts. No one is forcing you to stay with your current spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend that you can’t stand. You choose all of the above. It wasn’t one decision either, it has been a series of consistent decisions that you have said yes too that has shaped exactly what your life looks like today. IS THIS YOU? Have you ever been on your way to work, slugging through the long one hour commute each way, going to a job that you despise? You’re making ok money, but you know you are not anywhere near where you want to be and you are desperate to make an impact on the world? You hate where you live – you live in the snow and are slowly dying a little each day because the climate you really love is the beach (or vice versa). Life is too short not to live where you want to live, be who you want to be with and do what you want to do. It sounds easy to say and harder to do and that’s the oldest lie in the book. The truth is, once you make a decision to change, all the pieces will fall into place - quickly. The bigger and more honest questions you need to ask yourself are these:
It may involve letting go of old thoughts and habits that no longer serve you. It can even look like making short term decisions that may appear foolish in the now, but reap great rewards in the future. BEING HAPPY SHOULD BE YOUR #1 PRIORITY As a recovering people pleaser, I would like to offer you some kind advice. STOP MAKING OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY AND ONLY DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. Really, Stop! Stop trying to keep up with everyone else. The truth is no one cares what "everyone" is doing anyway. When you are in the later part of your life, you will not want to think “I made everyone happy except me”. That will be a very sad day when the reality is that THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE THE POWER TO BE HAPPY STARTING RIGHT NOW. Start living for you. If you do this, I guarantee it will change your life. The truer you are to you and what your desires are, the happier you will be. You will be in alignment with the divine being you really are. I have to warn you that this will probably bring up some hard discussions with those you are closest to, especially if you have been pleasing them and not yourself for a long period of time. They won’t understand the “different” direction you are taking with your life. They may get mad that you didn’t consult them first before you made some of these new “decisions”. I would encourage you to move forward with your choices anyway. The biggest failure you will have is if you don’t try to make yourself happy. You will never know your true potential, using all of the gifts at your disposal if they sit in a dark corner of the room accumulating dust. In other words, bring them out into the light where everyone can admire them for what they are - gifts. Your failures will help others and the more you express who you are in your highest form, the better off everyone will be. START RIGHT NOW So where do you begin? Start by identifying what it is you want to change in your life. We will call these Major Goals.
Choose your top 3 Major Goals that you want to accomplish within the time period of 90 days. Take each Major Goal and work backwards, adding in all of the detailed steps needed to accomplish each goal. These are called Mini Goals. Each of your Mini Goals, when combined are the steps that will accomplish your Major Goal. This way of reverse engineering is easy to set up and is fluid, meaning you can add in and subtract Mini Goals as you see fit. The Mini Goals allows you to course correct quickly to reach your Major Goals on time. If possible, set up a deadline for each Mini Goal. Here is an example of what your Mini and Major Goals could look like: Major Goal – Get a new job by April 30th Mini Goals – Rewrite my resume by March 30th Mini Goal – Start narrowing down the top 10 companies I want to work for by April 3rd Mini Goal – Begin to send out 15 resumes each week beginning on April 4th You get the idea. YOUR TURN What important goals are you going to dedicate yourself too this next 90 days? Write them down including your Major and Mini Goals. Make sure that you add dates for each goal which allows you to course correct frequently. It’s time for you to start living the life you were meant to live. You deserve it. Recently, I had a discussion with my sister on how being perfect has stopped so many of us in our tracks.
A prime example of this happened recently. I made a quick video about something I was going through that I thought would be valuable for others. In the morning, I looked at the video and thought “Ughh, I hate the way I look, the whole thing just looks awful. I can’t post this!” Some of the amazing Instagram’s that I follow and the women in them always have perfect hair, perfect outfits, perfect pictures, in other words a perfect Instagram/Life. Many motivational speakers will tell you the way to be successful is twofold: 1 Take consistent action and 2 Don’t worry what others think of you These are both true, except that it becomes a bit harder to put on an “I don’t give a crap what you think of me” attitude when you have been a people pleaser all your life. I am not going for perfect, my desire is to send out content that helps others. My currency is good information and that’s what I want you to focus on. There are many inspirational video’s that became famous, because they are off the cuff and far from “perfect”. People don’t watch because of how the speaker looks, they watch to find out what they are saying. You realize that their imperfections are what makes them great. This is what has made them who they are, so they can share these amazing and inspirational stories that help us grow our businesses on a daily basis. Without those imperfections, they would not be as inspiring. Maybe that’s where the attitude of “Don’t let other people’s thoughts about you get you down” comes from. These people know they are good and have the confidence to understand that even if you do or don’t like them, they don’t care. They don’t care because enough people ARE listening and those who do, will receive some very valuable content out of those videos. WHAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU? I share this to encourage you to be yourself! Even if you are a recovering people pleaser, it’s time to just be you and let the chips fall where they may. Be secure enough in yourself and think you got this! You can change people’s lives no matter how you look. If you feel that video may be too much pressure for you, there are other options. Audio is a huge platform that can build your credibility quickly and give you popularity. Listening to podcasts can be done while you are brushing your teeth, waiting in traffic and travelling on planes. It’s a good use of your time and many of these podcasts are available transcribed for you to print when you are back in the office. The great thing about podcasts is that you can interview other experts which boosts your ratings and makes you the expert in your field of choice. It’s a win-win for both of you and allows you to remain a bit more hidden than being front and center on video. Let’s not forget about the written word. If you have great writing skills and are an introvert, you can still do very well by creating written content for your peeps. Platforms like Medium, are giving readers short bursts of information that are designed to help and motivate, as well as send traffic to your website. IT ALL COMES DOWN TO YOU There are many different avenues you can take to promote your business and it all comes down to what feels most comfortable for you. You can try your hand at all of the above until you find what works best for you. It’s important that you not force it. There is nothing more painful than watching a video where someone feels awkward and uncomfortable. It shows up on camera and you want to ensure that people are listening to your words and not absorbing uncomfortable energy. You can use: Audio (Podcasts) Video (Interviews, Life Thoughts, Recommendations etc) Written Word (Articles, Interviews, HowTo’s, Inspirational Posts etc) Any combination of the above (A video with a pdf attached that people can download) Decide which platform (or combination) works best for you. Remember, we are all human and have fun with it. Imagine yourself at a dinner party and you are introduced to your friend’s new husband for the first time. The conversation might go something like this: “Hey Josh, I’m Julie” I say. “Hi Julie, I’m Josh, Laurie’s husband” he says with a big smile. “Welcome, I’m glad you made it” I respond. To which he replies “Thanks for having us. So what do you do?” This universal question of “What do you do?” is your chance to let others know what you do professionally. In many cases, it can also be directly tied to your self-worth as a human, your pride and how good of a person you are. In our culture, we are brought up to self-identify who we are with the profession we chose to work in, literally. Asking someone “What they do” is a common question to break the ice with those you don’t know. If we consider this “small talk”, then why do so many of us place such a high importance on what we do? Whether you know it or not, most people have very specific thoughts on the good and bad of different professions. For instance, some would say that a Secretary is an entry level job, that “anyone” can do and someone in this type of work can easily be replaced. In other words, it’s a lower level job. Others may say that working as a Marketing Director offers more creative work, pays well and will give you the opportunity to grow into a potential position at a senior level. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR OWN You and I inherited these thoughts from our parents, the culture we were brought up in and even close friends who interjected their thoughts about jobs, into our psyche. Many times these are unconscious thoughts that will shape your choices and can hold you back from reaching your true potential. There is a perceived notion of what a “good” job is and what a “bad” or “in between” job is. This becomes glaringly obvious when you decide to change professions or vocations. THOUGHTS BECOME YOUR PERSONAL STORY Let’s say you have experience as an Administrative Assistant and you want to move into a role that is more creative with more responsibility, like a Marketing Manager. You take classes in Marketing and once finished, you begin to apply for jobs. You encounter resistance when an employer looks at your resume and says “You have a background as a Secretary and you have no experience in Marketing. Do you think you are smart enough to do this job?” (This has been a real question that interviewers have asked me). On the surface this seems like a big deal, but there is something much larger at play here. What story have you been telling yourself internally about what you do from 9-5? If you loved being an Assistant your story might sound like this: “I have been an Assistant for several years and I love what I do. I know I have a better skill set than what this job requires, and I also know the money stinks, but this is what I have done for a long time and I’m not sure that I’m qualified to do something else.” Remember, this story has been playing in her subconscious for years and your brain is wired to control you and “help” keep you safe. The quote above is saying that she knows she could earn more money, she is smart and should be in a more advanced position, but she is comfortable and it doesn’t feel safe or likely to do something else. YOUR STORY IS YOUR LIFE The upshot of these types of thoughts are that you put yourself into a small box and you can’t get out of it. Even more troublesome, is the culture in companies that says your capacity for growth is limited. This culture states that the job you have now, is all your capable of and you may never flourish due to the story running in the hiring manager’s head which is “She has always been an Admin, she is not smart enough or talented enough to do anything else”. Which leads to rejection and you staying right where you are – unhappy, underpaid and not using your talents. What stories do you tell yourself about what you do? How linked are those stories to your self-worth? If others who have the ability to promote you, see you as being limited in any way, it will add fuel to the already negative story you may be telling yourself which is you are stuck. YOUR SELF WORTH IS DIRECTLY TIED TO YOUR JOB Let’s go back to the simple question “What do you do?” If you love what you do and have confidence in your abilities to do your job well, you will feel proud and happy discussing what you do for a living regardless of what your vocation is. If you hate your job, and don’t feel like you have a way to move up and make more money, you will feel sad, depressed, trapped and it will begin to manifest negatively in your life. Remember, you are NOT your job. There are only a few cases where what you do is truly what you are. For example, Navy Seals. Being a Seal is not just a job to them, in fact it isn’t a job at all. They ARE a Navy Seal, that’s who they are down to their bones, 24X7 every day of the week. Versus someone who works as a Recruiter. Being a Recruiter is the job they do, but they stop being a Recruiter and go back to being Jane or Paul, after work is done for the day. Do you see the difference? The difference between the Navy Seal and Jane is how much you either love or hate your job and if it uses your gifts allowing you to become more of who you really are. If it is working for you, great. If not, it may be time to make a change, but how? YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB If you are tired of small, old limiting stories, it’s time to make a change. Below are 3 steps you can take to change your life. Find The Lesson – Look at the stories that were painful and find the lesson. Each story that didn’t work out well has an important lesson you need to find. Let Go – Let go of your old story and send it with back with love out into the Universe. Knowing that you now learned your lesson (and especially if you don’t want to repeat it), let the story go with love. When you surrender your story, you allow the Universe to write an even better one for you. Ask For Help – Ask the Universe, God or Source, and your Guides in the spiritual realm to help you with your next steps. Find a quiet place and meditate on what lights you up. If you have no idea where to start, ask yourself these questions: What are you good at? What comes easily to you? What do you love to do that even if there was no pay involved, you would still do consistently? What have people always said you were are good at? Writing, Photography, Interviewing other people? What is always easy for you? LET GO OF THE STORY Once you begin to move towards your goals, that is usually when the chatter of stories begins in your head. If you want to move towards a senior level position, you may hear something like this: “You are not ready for this, you are not talented or smart enough for this position”. Don’t let low self-worth or negative unconscious chatter win. You are capable, smart and you can pivot to accomplish anything you want too with your life. Let go of the old stories of not being good enough and realize that you are indeed enough. You always have been, you just need to believe it. |
AuthorMy name is Julie Saillant and I am an Equestrian who uses my intuitive Empathic insight to help others embrace their own gifts so they can find their life purpose. Archives
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